“Wake up, what are you waiting for?
Time’s now, life is yours, life is short…”
The last several days have been very strange. I’ve felt as though I’ve been going through the motions of life, without actually being alive. It’s like my mind’s been gone, and I have no idea where or why, but I’ve simply not been here. Early last week I completed a project I’ve been working on for months, with great pride and satisfaction and even more so a feeling of being done and ready to move on to something new. Thursday I was driving to work and I don’t know what happened but I suddenly found myself in an area nowhere near where I was supposed to be. In fact, I had driven over half an hour past the exit I was supposed to take. I spent the day staring blankly at my computer, with no motivation to even think about work, or anything else really. Friday I decided to work at home, which resulted in staring blankly at a TV screen instead of my computer (which after turning on I never even looked at the entire day) without even really paying attention to what was on. And so was the entire weekend. There was no practice, friends… let’s just say supply is limited, and the one person who’d been practically begging me to go out with him stood me up. Twice. So I stayed home, watched TV, played video games, a lot of video games. I barely slept, not because of any particular problem I just wasn’t tired. When I was hungry I ate without really tasting, and spent days just there. There, but not.
“Another day goes by, and I don’t understand or know the reason why…”
The days stretched on for ages, time slowed to crawl. I had a vague acknowledgment of the world around me, but a separation from it. As if I was watching my own life go by. The strangest part of all of this, is that I have no idea why this would happen. Work is more satisfying that it’s ever been, the band is fantastic, social life really hasn’t changed at all. It’s just like my brain decided to take a vacation for four days.
Anyway, today I am back, waking up. I feel much more me, once again a part of my own life and not just a spectator. I don’t know what happened or why, but I suppose it doesn’t really matter, as today’s a new day, a new chapter to look forward to. :) And unlike whatever this was, the next week or so should be very, very interesting.
“Every second counts ’cause there’s no second try, so live like you’ll never live it twice.”