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Being in a band I imagine is much like being married (or at least in a long-term relationship with someone).  For instance, the last band I was in began as any courtship, full of excitement and fire.  After a while though, arguments became a way of life, we’d still do our thing, and look and act as a band on stage, but inside was constant struggle.  The problem is that it, like relationships can, became so much ingrained as part of the routine, that it actually felt easier to stay, and in a way felt that I needed to stay, even though I knew it was unhealthy.  Eventually, I was able to force myself to break out, and before too long I had found another.  The differences here are astounding.  Not just the general dynamic of compromise and understanding vs competition and controlling, but my own inner feelings and emotions.  It’s hard to explain, there’s just something… deeper here.  Perhaps more of a sense of stability.  I’m not going to pretend like every day is the best, in fact some days I just don’t really feel quite that same initial fire at all.  But I know it’s there, hiding, perhaps in a different form.  And I know it will come out again just as strong (if not stronger) for the real show.  I guess what I’m trying to say is that, for the first time in my musical life, it’s nice to have something that I know I can always count on to bring me home.


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